Someone (I heard it attributed to Calvin Trillin, but he may not be the originator) said that there are two kinds of parents – those whose lives center around their children, and those whose lives do not. I like to believe we are or have been the former.

As a new parent , you have grandiose and perhaps well-formed plans for your child’s life. They will excel at sport X, be academically gifted and physically perfect. One soon learns this may not be the case.

The older you get, the more inclined you are to think that, although you may have physically deteriorated, you have gained ‘wisdom’. If life is a journey through a dangerous and dense forest, you have found a safe and rewarding path. There may be other paths, equally as good or better. Nevertheless, you know yours works. You want to show your children this path – “I loved basketball in high school, and have great memories of games, people, experiences related to that sport”. You find that your teenage son hates basketball. As they enter the metaphoric forest, they see you at the other side of it. You hope they will be impressed with the dangers you avoided, how far you have managed to get. Instead, they see your missteps – the wrong directions you took, the errors you made. They optimistically think that they will go much farther, much more easily. As their parent, you want this to be the case, yet you know firsthand how many problems and difficulties there are. If they would only follow the path you know so well, you could guide them and help them. Being a parent is learning that they are not necessarily interested in your path, and that your experiences may be of little or no help to them.